It Finally Happened – The Dreaded Abnormal Pap

South Florida Coast Lisa Sullivan All Rights Reserved

(Featured image by Yours Truly. It reminds me of one of my favorite places to find peace especially when going through difficulty.)

Probably TMI for you of the male species that may be reading this. Feel free to move on, or if you care enough about your significant other (or any S.Os you will have in the future), then please continue reading. For the rest of you ladies everywhere, I know you feel me.

But, yes, it happened – 48 years later.

“So, Doc…what do you think? Am I healthy?” I asked as I left my yearly exam.

“What do you think?” she responds with a smile on her face and a pat on my shoulder.

As far as she knows, I am. My labs look good! I’m not overweight by any stretch (as a matter of fact, I’m maintaining my healthy weight since losing much of it two years ago – fist PUMP!).

Then THE test comes back…and I get a call from her at 7:30PM on a Thursday night while I’m out celebrating the holidays with a dear friend. She leaves a message. I think nothing of it because I figure well, yeah, my labs look good but my cholesterol level might actually be on the border of being high. Maybe she just wants to talk to me about that?

I call back the next day and instead I get this from her sweet nurse, G* – “Actually, your pap test came back and your cells have changed. She wants you in to see a gynecologist for further testing.” 

“Umm….well…ok. What does that mean?” I ask as my heart starts beating a bit faster.

There are a number of factors that could cause the cells of your cervix to change, I read later on the interwebs. The good news is not all “cells that have changed” directly mean the dreaded “C” word – Cancer. Regardless, my cells aren’t normal…for the first time ever so yes, I’m a bit concerned.

“Well, all I can tell from the lab results is that it’s a low grade change so further testing is suggested,” G says back.

“OK. I’ll do my research and make an appointment,” I respond.

After nearly two months of delays (for one reason or another), today, was THE day. This afternoon I underwent a Colposcopy. Basically, it’s a test that allows the doctor to see your cervix through a microscope more clearly. It involves vinegar and “shots” of cold stuff. It makes you uncomfortable and feel like you are having really bad menstrual cramps. And I’ll strongly admit, it hurt like hell, especially when she had to scrape two cells for a biopsies on both. I will get the results in a week.

Truthfully, yes, I’m a bit concerned about the results, but I’m not worried. I have this mantra that I stick to – why worry about something when you don’t even know what you’re worrying about? Not to mention, my faith is very deep. I wrote a post on Instagram recently –

If anything, I was more worried about the procedure. I really am a wimp. ANY bit of discomfort or pain and I’m looking for something to relieve it. You should’ve seen me when I passed a kidney stone a few years back. Those of you that have yourself, I also know you feel me there too. I’m told that’s worse than childbirth.

That said, let me also point out again – this was my first EVER abnormal Pap. That in and of itself was enough to have me putting my health first in prayer never mind the peace I was looking for to be comfortable during the procedure.

I also asked my prayer warriors out there to pray for me, though I didn’t tell them EXACTLY what’s wrong (it’s out there now, isn’t it?!). For those that have been praying for me and/or sending me positive thoughts, believe you me, I appreciate it and I feel them all. You have helped me find that peace I needed!

Speaking of prayer warriors, I must give special thanks to my dear friends – Susie, Candace, Kelsey, Kathy, and Missy for blowing up my phone after all was said and done. 🙂 And a very special THANK YOU to Maureen who came with me, held my hand and allowed me to squeeze as tightly as I needed to, watched me cry, made me laugh, picked up my meds, and brought me dinner. So very thankful for you! I love all you ladies so much! You know how to make a girl feel loved.

So, now I wait. Wait for the pain and discomfort to go away. Wait for the results. As for those, I wait in fervent prayer and I know that no matter what the results are, my Heavenly Father and I will get through this period (pun intended – go ahead and laugh) together.

Hopefully, my next post will be a report of positive results! And if not, well, I may be taking you on a journey.

Ladies (and gents, you too!), I can’t stress enough about the importance of regular checkups, especially as we get older. Please, if you haven’t made your yearly exam yet, go get ‘er done. I hope my family and friends reading this will heed my advice. 😉

Life is so much shorter than we really see it sometimes. Take care of the body you’re in the best you can. Eat right (I’m working on doing MORE of that), exercise (got a regular routine!), get the right amount of sleep, and do things that make you happy. That last piece of advice – you don’t realize how much that actually helps, but it does!

One more ask – if you’re a praying person, please add me to your prayers. If you’re all about good positive vibes, I’ll take those too. Thanks a bunch…and thanks for reading.

For now, I’m heading back to the couch to rest. Hallmark Channel is calling my name.



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